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Mason Writes, “Top 3 Tips on Keeping Your Dating Life Holly and Jolly During the Holidays” for DA.com

December 2, 2019

For now until the rest of the year, I have the pleasure of being DatingAdvice.com’s “Gay Relationship Expert.” Check out my fourth article I wrote for them for this month…

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The holiday season is the ultimate test of a balancing act when it comes to your family, friends, and partners.

Studies show that there’s a slight jump in online dating activity during these end-of-the-year months. This is attributed to what is called the “cuffing season,” a tendency among singles toward adopting a more domestic mindset during the winter months. To be fair, I think this hypothesis can really vary city to city or person to person. The last thing I want to do is to start a relationship when I’m being pulled in so many directions. I don’t want to tell someone that the only time I’m available is a week from now on a Tuesday at 9 p.m. That is grounds for approaching the “He seems too busy and doesn’t have time to make time for a relationship” territory — not the best first impression.

So how do you give enough of your time to everyone, and how do you prevent fights from breaking out left and right? Here are my top three tips.

1. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate

Don’t expect your relationships to have a strong foundation if your associations with people are always in a gray area — never really defined or clarified. After all, the most stressful relationships we have are probably with individuals who go back and forth within that gray area never knowing the role they play in our lives. It’s so important during busy times to let a person know that you’re still on his radar. And, if you don’t, at least check in. Try asking him if he can take the lead in organizing plans. My only hope is that this process becomes mutual, and that both parties can take turns when life starts to get compacted for the other.

Consider every possible parameter that can cause stress during the holidays and communicate that to your significant other. I don’t think this is a sign of a negative mindset, but one of pragmatism. In Los Angeles, traffic and parking are among the hardest things to navigate and can sometimes be a silly dealbreaker. I remember at one point in my life dating someone who lived in such a congested neighborhood that, every time I went to his place, it would take at least 30 minutes of circling the block to find somewhere to park — followed by a very long walk. In those cases, it’s important to have a solution-based mindset. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. The guy you like just worked a long, eight-hour day, and the last thing he wants to do is spend another hour in the car driving to you to then spend a hefty amount of additional time to park and walk. What a buzzkill.

Try saying something like “I know you’ve had a long work day, so let me let you use my parking spot, or I can come to you.” Expecting a person to be OK with you inconveniencing them has the potential for conflict, and it’s best to address these issues before things get treacherous.

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Filed in: Dating Tips

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