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Best Gay Websites and Time Permission

June 26, 2019

best gay websites“I’m sorry I’ve been busy.”

“I forgot to respond.”

How much money would you have if you got $5 every time you heard something like this (maybe even on one of the best gay websites) within today’s dating culture? I remember posting a recent status update on social media polling people casually if they are early, on time, or late people in regard to their personal time management. I thought about posting my results on one of the best gay websites I know. I have to be honest, I rarely talk to the people that listed themselves as “late.” The people that noted themselves as “early” or “on time” I actually talk to on a more regular basis than the latter. And if a person listed themselves as “late,” I have built a natural limitation  in making certain plans with them, if at all. Therefore, often times that relationship is probably very cordial and surface. I remember in my younger years having a friends with benefits situation and this guy’s life always seemed to have a catastrophe attached to it. He had a rather “uncomfortable” living situation. He canceled our “plans” once within hours of us meeting because he had a rash all over his body. He didn’t have enough money to go out for a burger and fries; lastly, he thought he had a STI two different times within the two months we had our “arrangement.” We can intuitively feel when someone’s life is in disarray and the person on the other end is thinking, “why is everyone ghosting me?” The finger is pointed at you, my friend, and that energy latches onto you if you allow it. He needed to seek some dating advice from one of the best gay websites.

This article’s topic came to me when a guy out of the blue messages me and introduces himself again. Needless to say, my response would be placed in the Hall of Fame of Snarky Responses: “Hey [NAME]. It’s Mason. We’ve met (many times), had each other’s phone numbers, had sex (a few times), and then you kind of disappeared. Hope you’re well!” His response was two days later apologizing, telling me he was in a car accident. Well, he can’t really play that card either seeing as how I was in a high speed collision on the freeway, having suffered some injures for months since our initial interaction. He also needed to review some dating advice from one of the best gay websites. Yes, I understand emergent situations happen. I understand there was traffic. I’m talking about that moment when you KNEW you would be late before you even left your home for a date you planned with someone ahead of time. I am referencing the person that tells me that they need two weeks to write a short bio of themselves and their preferences when I’m the one searching for a potential partner for them on my time. I am talking about simply dialing a phone number for a person you claim to want to get to know for 10 minutes out of your entire day. Or on the other end of that, returning the call and not just impersonally texting someone to death. It takes 10 minutes to give someone a good first impression. We all know the benefits of doing something like this, and yet we ignore the negatives even when we hate the repercussions (and often complain) of them ourselves. I’ve touched on this subject before, but wanted a deeper dive into this thought process.

I remember thinking that these men obviously want me to be “forgiving” of them not “having a lot of time.” Let’s just take the sugar off of that statement to say “managing their time effectively.” These men automatically expect me or someone to be “forgiving” of their rather cumbersome and unpredictable schedule. Truth be told, you or I practically met these men yesterday, so you or I actually know nothing about them except with what is presented in front of me/us: they don’t have the ability to schedule their life for or around an equal relationship. Any of the best gay websites about dating out there would agree with me wholeheartedly. And if they don’t want a relationship, why did we even start the process of dating? Not having time to date is like having no flour to bake a cake from scratch. I think a lot of people like the allure of a relationship, but don’t actually want to put forth the effort involved in harnessing one. I remember connecting with a friend of mine and how he talked about a person “in demand.” An “in demand person” will always schedule something in advance, and at the end of the day, you will always feel important and believe their sincerity in their word of commitment to you. To my point earlier, seeing and doing are two different attributes we should note. Energetically, I want to inherently feel someone has purpose and balance in everything he sets his mind to. This energy is palpable and allows us to envelop ourselves in budding attraction to someone. Those who always seem to be chaos like checking their phone all the time, are not present and that is a turn off to most. His time is no more important than yours, correct?

I’ve immediately went into a pessimistic mental mode when someone says “well maybe we can meet on Saturday for drinks” or “I think I should be available after work on Tuesday.” I realize that our vernacular seems to have an “out clause” nowadays. Someone can’t be mad if we back out last minute, find something else better to do, work kept us late, or we even decided on an impromptu night by ourselves, right? Have any those people looked into researching their behavior on one of the best gay websites? Here in lies those words we love to hate, “maybe,” “I think,” or “I should.” Many times I’ve heard that “maybe is a polite way of saying ‘no’.” I’ve been guilty of this myself, and when I actually was available all along the other person would say, “sorry, you were iffy about our plans, so I made other ones.” See, people are used to be given the run around or even worse, being completely flaked upon. It’s really attractive to me (and well the majority of the world) when a man makes a plan and sticks to it. For every 20 people I interview for our matchmaking company, I would say 18 of them say something along the lines of “I like it when he has/makes a plan and communicates that.” You have more to lose being in the noncommittal arena that just saying you are just not available or even interested. Be a solutions-driven person. It’s important to be time-responsible for yourself in the dating realm because I almost promise your friends can also truly tell me how you are with managing your time. Better yet, ask yourself right now.

Filed in: Dating Tips

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